Chapter 2 - Poor Decisions (G&G)

Determination is a double agent of sorts, in that it works for both the sides of good and evil. It can drive those inspired by the light to do works of righteousness. On the other side of the coin, it can aid those under the influence of darkness in their efforts to overtake the just. Unfortunately for Xavier, no amount of determination could aid him in his stealth mission.

In an attempt to remain hidden, he exited out a side entrance and snuck behind the juice shop. To get a closer view of the scene, he decided to try smashing a back window so he could get inside. Sadly, the window was reinforced, and the hammer once again collided with his mask, leaving a big crack in it. Suddenly, the window opened, and he spotted a familiar face.

“Xavier?” stated Tubba R. Clubba, the self proclaimed ‘strongest battler in the pit’ who couldn’t seem to get out of the bottom rank. “I know you’ve been feeling depressed, and I think you should know that there are much faster ways to kill yourself than bashing yourself with a hammer.”

“Whatever,” Xavier grumbled in reply, indignantly grabbing Tubba’s outstretched hand. “Today, I’m finally going to kill that selfish brother of yours.”

“Listen, Xavier. Chubba may be unintelligent, annoying, and overweight, but he is not sel- well, he is pretty selfish, actually. He’s also rude, unfunny…”  Tubba trailed off, staring into space while listing his sibling’s many unredeeming qualities.

“...Okay, uh, I’ll talk to you later, then.”  With that, Xavier climbed in through the window. Feeling energized by his minor victory, the bandit held his head high and assured himself that he would not fall. One second later, he tripped and fell over an extension cord lying on the ground. A laptop flew off the table with it and landed directly on his chest. When he returned to his senses a few moments later, Xavier squinted and began reading the text document on the bright screen.

“Jamie X Wario - Chapter 1: EROTICA MAXIMUS”

Xavier immediately threw the computer off of him and poured a nearby glass of juice into his eyes. It wasn’t long before he realized that what he did wouldn’t actually feel better than reading words he wished he hadn’t, and he quietly sobbed in the corner of the room for ten minutes.

When they finally felt better, Xavier stood and peered out the window located at the front of the building. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary-- Darius was drowning in the snow, Snoozer was having an identity crisis, and everyone else was frolicking around like idiots. Xavier almost choked at the simple sight of their repulsive happiness. Yet Chubba was nowhere to be seen. That’s when he noticed that the lights were on in the building across the way.

“Yoshi’s shop!” he said aloud. Chubba had to be in there. All Xavier had to do was use his incredible intellect to lure the abomination outside and to the edge of the island. No longer feeling the need to camouflage himself, Xavier marched outside and began walking across Glitzville. It wasn’t long before he was spotted.

“LOOK!” shouted Shyer. “XAVIER CAME OUT TO PLAY!”

There was a mass of confusion as all the battlers gathered around him in disbelief. Xavier, immediately regretting his decision to give up his stealth, tried shooing them all away, but it was no use. In the midst of all of this, Skelloetta emerged from the crowd.

“Xavier!” she squealed, a grin spread across her face, which was basically her whole body. “I knew you’d come out and play with us!”

At this point, the bandit had snapped. “Listen up, you stupid ghost, and listen good. I will never play your stupid games. I will never associate with you obnoxious clods. But most of all, I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND!”  With that, Xavier scooped up a snowball and hucked it at his teammate. Since she was a ghost, however, it went right through her and flew at Meloetta, his other teammate. She was also a ghost, so it continued to fly until it landed on the ground at Parin’s feet.

“SNOWBALL FIGHT!” screamed the duplighost, and the war began. Unfortunately for Xavier, everyone decided to target him. As snowball after snowball was chucked at him, Xavier was literally buried in snow to the point that only his face was showing. At that moment, Skelloetta appeared in front of him, a blank expression like he had never seen on her face.

“Skelloetta, just in time! Give me a hand!” he cried.

“Sure, no problem,” she mumbled. All of a sudden, a massive boulder of snow began to materialize in the air. It continued to grow until it was almost five times his size. “I would say, ‘Here, friend,’ but apparently you don’t consider me to be one. I suppose ‘ex-teammate’ will have to suffice.”  A teal tail sticking out of the shop entrance was the last thing Xavier saw before everything went dark.