2 / Dino Tweed

Chubba didn’t make it far before the cuffs, still sealed tightly around his meaty wrists, completely cut off the circulation to his hands. They quickly went numb, leaving him with no way to steer. Meanwhile, the cop whose vehicle he’d jacked had called for reinforcements, and another car was already on his tail. Thus, exemplifying the pinnacle of grace, he flung himself out the door and took off into the nearest alleyway.

“End of the line, bub.” Two officers had piled out of their own car and cornered him in the corridor.

“Curse this conveniently located dead end!” Chubba shouted. He had more to say, but was cut off by the wails of a teenager who was balled up in the corner beside him. Interestingly enough, his cries were the less grating of the sounds.

“Don’t tell me you kidnapped this child, too! You’re going to jail for a long-” Suddenly, a cloaked figure appeared from behind. He slit the man’s throat and  bashed the Pianta’s head against the brick wall. He slumped to the ground, dead. Chubba, having torn the cuffs off with his teeth, picked up a beer bottle from the pavement and hurled it at the other. It shattered on contact, sending him into a daze. The masked murderer dragged him out into the street and dropped his body down through a manhole along with his friend.

“Dear Lord!” the child shrieked. “I thought this story was rated PG-13!”

“Didn’t I say ‘fuck’ last time?” Chubba asked. He turned to his partner. “Good timing, asshat.”

“I don’t like when others receive credit for my work,” Yoshi replied.

“Well, what’s the kid for?”

“I’m babysitting him. Figured I might as well show him the ins and outs of leading a crime ring. I gotta get him back soon, though, or the one in my basement might escape. What’s going on with you?”

“I attacked someone on the streets, and now the cops are on me, even though he totally deserved it.”

“Filthy loiterers.”