Chapter 17 - A Terrible Fate (G&G)

GB couldn’t help but remember how Lukki had towered above him so threateningly before. It was difficult for the blooper to grasp that the same lakitu who had earlier seemed like one of the most dangerous creatures in the Glitz Pit was now tied up before him, butt naked. Against his better judgement, GB removed the duct tape covering Lukki’s mouth.

“GB! Man, I never thought I’d actually be happy to see you!” he cried through heavy breaths.

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, you cloudless nudist,” GB replied, refusing to let his eyes wander down yonder. “Tell me everything.”

“I don’t think you want to know everything,” Lukki muttered, avoiding eye contact.

“I don’t think you understand,” said Naturae, who finally emerged from the darkness. “Clearly, we’re in big trouble. If you don’t speak up, we could all end up dead by the end of the day.”

“Right,” said Asotzen, who followed his boo buddy. “So if you don’t tell us every last bit of information on you, we’ll be forced to-”  Suddenly, he saw more of Lukki than he ever would have wanted to, and flew off back into the darkness. A few seconds passed before the faint sounds of vomiting could be heard across the room.

“Well, you know what we mean,” GB continued, glaring directly into the lakitu’s eyes. “Now talk!”

“Okay, okay. Everyone was out and about, doing their own thing, and I got this text from Parin. She told me that she had just eaten five plates of mashed potatoes and was feeling great, so we met up in the major league room for some alone time. We turned on some quiet jazz and got right to it. We’d been meaning to try doggy style for a whi-”

“You know what? Forget literally everything we just said,” said GB, who was looking back at the area where Asotzen, Naturae, and the mini yuxes were all having a puking party. He turned back to the bound lakitu who he now knew was far too open to sharing certain things. “Just skip to the part where Boshi comes in.”

“His name is Boshi, huh? Creepy name for a creepy guy. Anyways, when we heard pounding on the door, I told Parin to hide. She copied the form of a nearby squeak and hid in a file cabinet right before Boshi busted inside. He pounced onto the bed and shoved a strange mushroom down my throat, and before I knew it, I was out cold. I wake up to the sound of the mechanical whirs of some big door opening, and he throws me in here. It’s only about a minute before you and your weird friends show up.”

“Did you hear him say anything? Anything at all?” GB inquired, sweating.

“Actually, he did demand that I told him where the others were. Remaining tough, and not because I was too terrified to move my mouth, I said nothing. Right before I lost consciousness, I remember him saying something about finding them all himself.”

“It looks like he isn’t just planning on sneaking out the riches after all,” said Asotzen, who had returned with his party guests. “He’s gathering everyone up, and he probably plans to slaughter us!”

“You’re sure one perceptive yux.”  Suddenly, the door reopened, and who walked into the room was none other than the master criminal himself. He tossed an unconscious, tied up mouse onto the ground next to Lukki, who instantly began to roll around and scream curses in a fit of rage. “The lakitu’s friend, on the other hand, was certainly not. Like a creature as tiny as that could take me on!”

“I hate to tell you, Boshi, but you’re as stupid as they get!” shouted a completely unconfident GB, who floated into the dinosaur’s view with the mini yuxes’ help.

“So I didn’t kill you, huh? What a shame. Fortunately, it looks like you have exactly what I’m missing.”  Boshi leaped at GB, grabbed the stolen mushroom from within his blubber, and backflipped back to his original spot. “Ah, ol’ #32. I’ve been meaning to put you to use, and it looks like a certain group of rebels is a perfect opportunity.”

“One minor flaw in your plan, you phoney doctor,” Naturae said, also putting on a poor excuse for a confident demeanor. “There’s three of us, and only one mushroom.”

“Luckily, I possess the ability to feed this deadly drug to each one of you. Behold my great power!”  With that, Boshi tore the mushroom into three pieces. “Time to say good night.”

“GET HIM!” GB screamed, and the uncoordinated trio all let loose their attacks.

Asotzen used laser, but Boshi did a dodge roll and used devour on the surprised yux. GB attempted to ram the dinosaur, but trying to do so while being carried meant that he did nothing more than slightly nudge him. Picking the blooper up and holding him like a bazooka, Boshi sprayed ink all over the invisified boo before spitting the yux out at him and throwing GB on top. Furthermore, the severe damage dealt to Asotzen resulted in the despawning of the mini yuxes.

“Well, that was quite a pitiful attempt!” Boshi said, towering above the pile of battlers. In several swift motions, he removed a cord of rope from his trench coat and tied the three up. Before they could manage to struggle, he force fed each of them a piece of the deadly mushroom. “Looks like I was right, GB.  The Glitz Pit is full of weaklings, you especially. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to capture the rest of your friends, who will surely meet a similar fate.”  Cackling like a maniac, Boshi turned, opened the door, and left them in darkness again.

“D-don’t worry, guys,” said Asotzen, who struggled to keep his eyes open. “He’s clearly no professional, for he was too dull to realize that we can’t get the drug’s full effect unless all of it is consumed.”

“Right,” added Naturae, who turned to GB and gave a weak smile. “We’ll be out for a while, and there may be permanent side effects, but we should wake up just fine.”

“But guys, it isn’t that simple!” GB whimpered. “We don’t have much time before Boshi goes through with his scheme!”

“I know, GB, but there really isn’t anything we can do,” Asotzen said. “The only way to be awoken from a fragile coma like this is through serious violence, and that’s obviously not possible.”  That was all the yux was able to say before he lost consciousness.

Turning the other way, GB was panicked to notice that Naturae had passed out as well. Right as he felt himself losing his ability to stay alert, GB hatched an idea. “Lukki… do you remember all of that talk about how you would destroy me?”  The lakitu gave a weak nod, and the blooper continued. “I need you to use all that strength to untie me, and then beat the tar out of me. Can you do that?”

“It would be my honor,” Lukki said with a determined smile.

GB fainted.