Chapter 7 - Trapped (G&G)

The darkness is capable of messing with the mind in ways that can cause its victims to lose all control over their actions. The choices they proceed to make in this state, whether hastily thrown together or well thought out, do not typically align with their true intentions. They grow determined to achieve their goals by any means necessary, and often end up hurting those they never had any intention to harm beforehand. Xavier’s taking advantage of the duplighost wasn’t originally part of his mission, but he had completely succumbed to the darkness and became its idiotic puppet.

It was finally time for the day’s battles to begin, and everyone had gathered in the pit. Once the commotion had died down, the lights suddenly went off. A spotlight shown down on the area below the arena’s screen from the viewing canopy.

“I don’t get paid enough for this,” Yoshi grumbled, having full knowledge of the display of horrors that would soon occur. Suddenly, a door flung open, and Chubba gave a miserable attempt at doing a cartwheel before giving up and hopping onto the stage.

“Wiggity, wiggity, what’s up dude bros?” he shouted. “I’m Chubby Fresh, and without further ado, let’s get these swaggy battles underway!”

“What is he doing? Even worse, what is he wearing?” Meloetta mumbled, squinting her eyes to see the flashy wardrobe their host was sporting.

“Typical 90’s clothing,” GB said. “Must be another phase. At least he’s moved on past Xavier. The 80’s are totally out.”

Having learned to ignore the blooper’s obnoxious prattle, Skeloetta raised her voice. “Speaking of Xavier, I wonder where he is?”

As if on cue, the input on the pit’s monitor changed to the scene of a dark room. Everyone, including Chubby Fresh, stared at it, confused. Suddenly, a light flickered on, and everyone was shocked to see a tied up Tubba hanging over a pit of lava. He was suspended by the hook of a fishing pole, and a shadow cloaked figure was grasping it by the handle from atop a box.

“Listen up, Chubba,” boomed the mysterious voice.

“Sorry, I don’t know any Chubba’s,” the host announced, clicking the heels of his light up sneakers together. “I’m Chubby Fre-”

“I DON’T CARE WHO YOU ARE!” shrieked the voice. “All that matters is that I’ve got your brother, and if you don’t come to the red major league room right now, he’s finished!”

“Okay. First of all, I know that’s you, Xavier.”  Xavier let out an incohesive grumble. “Second of all, I’m a strong supporter of freedom of religion. This in mind, you’re free to practice your devilish rituals.”

“Wait! I’m not sure you heard me right. This is your brother I have here! Your only known sibling, your flesh and blood!”  The clubba seemed to be struggling to say something, but the duct tape over his mouth prevented him from doing so.”

“Uh, I don’t really care about him. You can do what you want.”  Chubba turned his back to the screen.

“Hold on!” Xavier shouted, desperate. “He’s, uh… he’s got your wallet!”  Xavier pointed towards the generic wallet with a symbol of Yoshi’s face that everyone was forced by him to use sticking out of the clubba’s fat pocket.

“Pffft, do you really think he’s going to fall for that?” Meloetta whispered to her sister.

“Not a chance,” Skelloetta replied. “Chubba may be stupid, but he’s not stupid enough to forget that all of us have the same-”

“YOU SICK FREAK!” Chubba screamed, and turned to face the battlers in the stands. “CHANGE OF PLANS, DAWGS! BATTLES ARE CANCELLED. WE’RE GOING ON A RESCUE MISSION!”

“Wait a second! You can’t bring everyone, you have to come alo-” Xavier began, but all of the fighters had already begrudgingly followed their mentally unsound leader out into the hallway.

Xavier let out a sigh and glanced at his captive. “Oh, I see. You think you’re saved, huh? Unfortunately for you, this is the first time in my life that I’ve actually come prepared!”  The bandit reached into the crate upon which he was perched and grabbed a remote. At that moment, Chubba did a face plant into the secret lair.

“Now!” Xavier shouted, and pushed a button on the remote. The input caused the hidden speakers that had allowed communication between he and those in the arena to begin playing an audio book.

“Wario entered the candle lit room and was greeted by the sight of his teal boyfriend lying shirtless on a velvet sofa.”

Xavier tapped furiously at the button to no avail.

“Chubba beckoned his greasy mate to come closer, and he happily obliged. Pouncing on top of the clubba, Wario began to-”

Xavier threw the laptop at the wall, cutting off the recording. The two clubbas were staring at him with blank expressions. “I’m just listening for the story, I swear!” he shouted. “Alright, now that that’s over… this button should do the trick!”  This time, the locker door slammed shut above, effectively preventing any of the battlers from getting in. For once, the teal clubba actually seemed to be worried.

For once, Xavier had Chubba right where he wanted him.